i’ll be going on hiatus for a little while, for personal reasons. i may or may not set up a queue, i’m not sure yet. i probably will. if anyone needs to get a hold of me, just message me on here and i’ll get back to you as soon as possible. thanks, guys, and i’ll be back soon.
i just need to take a break from the routine for awhile.
We sum collage keds
College work isn’t so bad when she’s with me, though. Nothing’s bad when she’s with me. Especially on nights like tonight, when we can be together all night, and there’s no rush. We can just sit around, shoot the shit, watch terrible movies, and be the best friends that we are so lucky to be. God, I love this woman.
YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS A GIFT KAYLA I NEED NOTHING MORE FROM YOU, JUST KEEP BEING MY FRIEND OK
that’s a great question.
it honestly started out really slowly. i mean, i’m not really a believer in love at first sight, despite my romanticism. but mainly what drew me to Jess was that she was everything my girlfriend at the time wasn’t: kind, warm, open, affable, easy to talk to. we could just sit and talk for hours if we had the time, but we never did. at first i just thought i had found a great friend.
but i started to crave her presence all the time. on the rare days that she wouldn’t show up to class, i would feel so disappointed it was like a weight was around my neck and every time the door opened, my eyes would slam against the doorway, praying for the sight of her walking in and fixing my day, but it never was and it stuck with me for hours to come.
then, one day, like a smack in the face, it hit me. we were sitting in the computer lab at our school, doing some bullshit project. mainly the time was just used for us to talk to each other, and i valued that so much. and let me tell you something, i remember this day to the letter. i remember what i was wearing, i remember what she was wearing, i remember the song i was listening to when she looked over at me and her eyes softened, punching me in the gut with their beauty as she made me feel like the only thing that mattered or existed in her world. i remember sitting there, looking her dead in the eyes and thinking, “oh fuck, i think i’m in love with this girl”
it became an all consuming fire within my heart that could not be extinguished with the sheer rationality or pragmatism of my brain trying to tell me over and over, “danny, she won’t want you,” or “danny, she’s so far above you,” or “danny, you have a girlfriend; what the fuck are you doing?”
nothing i did stopped it or even slowed it down. at night, i’d listen to that same song over and over again, Ben Howard’s Cloud Nine, and i’d cry my fucking eyes out, holding my pillow and wishing it were her, trying to resign myself to the fact that it never would be. i’d see her at school and we’d talk and she’d look at me, she would fucking look at me, and drive her eyes further and further into mine until i couldn’t bear to look any longer without breaking down completely. i’d crave to touch her so much that it became a physical pain that i knew could never be cured and i knew, i just fucking KNEW that if she touched me i would dissolve into particles and float away into nonexistence.
i thought i knew what love felt like before her. i was so fucking wrong. i couldn’t sleep, food was tasteless, i had no motivation for anything. i was totally and completely paralyzed. the only moments that meant anything to me were those that were spent with her. and even now, three years later, i’m sitting here crying my eyes out as i write this because i never want to go back to feeling like that. it was worse than being friendless in a school full of people i didn’t know, it was worse than cocaine addiction and attempted suicide, it was worse than losing my grandfather. it was worse than anything. love is not something amazing or fun when it’s unrequited. it tears you apart from the inside ceaselessly and without care. it takes over your life and your mind and your entire fucking being. and no one should be forced to deal with that, but they are and they do and so was i. life isn’t easy, i know that, but i don’t think anyone on the outside understands until it happens to them.
unrequited love is a kind of depression.
flash forward to now, and we’ve been together almost a year and a half and i make myself remember these things and these feelings because i never want to take her for granted. i never want it to just be the norm that she is mine and i am hers. she lights up my life, she keeps my head above water, she is my be-all-end-all. she’s my sun and stars, my best girl, and my soulmate. and i’d give up my entire world to give her everything she wants. because she deserves that and i don’t deserve her. i never want to forget even for a second what a gift it is that she is mine. and i never want her to forget that i know that.
so yeah. that’s what it felt like falling in love with my soulmate.
dat me n u
Anyone remember how I was supposed to write a song for you guys when I hit 900 followers? Well, it took way longer expected–writer’s block is a bitch– but here it is, finally.
This song is for all you guys, but as is stated in the video, I’d like to dedicate this song especially to my dear friend, Sabina. She’s been going through some tough times, and I can relate to that, especially with the state I’m in right now. I just want her to know people care, and I care, and we all want her to be happy. So if you want to be a good person today, send her really nice stuff–encouraging words, personal stories of overcoming depression and anxiety, random happy stuff, stucky things, anything really–and do what you can to make her feel loved and cared for. Because no one should ever feel alone at a time like this.
I hope you all enjoy.
Alright, ladies and gents, it’s time for my first ever solo BOTM to go right along with my first ever solo tumblr awards. Aren’t you all so terribly excited?
What be da rules to this display of utter hooliganism?
What are you searching for in this noble quest?
Why do I give a shit about this, you dumb nerd?
But Mr. Danny, sir, what if I’m a runner up? Do I get nothing?
So with all that unnecessary dorkiness taken care of, I urge you to go forth and apply! I can’t wait to see all your amazing blogs.
If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask
oh man i already know??? here i go with your blog rate?????
url: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | dayum bruh where’d ya find that
icon: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | that’s yours? no, that’s mine now.
theme: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | give me your code for science
posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | run my blog; i’ll pay you in cheap puns
overall: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | i’d hack/steal your blog if i had the know-how
following: no but im trash and you’re amazing | blammo! now i am | what a silly question why would you waste your time with such nonsense
what did i do to deserve you guys? you all are so amazing and kind and just so helpful in everything that i’ve ever needed. i used to feel alone on this site, and maybe that had some advantages but the companionship you all make me feel is beyond compare. i love you all and i don’t know what i’d do without you guys. i just want you all to know that i don’t take this for granted. i hope we remain in constant contact for years and years to come. seriously, come talk to me if we haven’t lately. i’d love to talk. anyway im rambling. i love you all and you’re all perfect, each and every one of you
[boss-ass bitch playing in the distance]
but can we please talk about how perfect jess’s art is? i’m crying real thug tears rn
Honestly, I haven’t come across very many Stucky headcanons and it’s really sad. That’s why I need people to send me them. So I can laugh and cry and cry some more.
ALL OF THEM ARE SO HOT UGH ESPECIALLY CHRIS AND HAYLEY THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL
url: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | chris evans
icon: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | sebastian stan
theme: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | chris hemsworth
posts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | mark ruffalo
overall: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | scarlett johansson
follow: no but u a cool dude | now i am! | yes | if im not, assume im dead